Quaintrelle Weekender

Dirt is the word as party hosts bare all, no holds barred.

Hospitality is a Love Language

When I was working at a fancy-schmancy restaurant we used the acronym “NL” in the reservation book for guests we knew to be very difficult.

“NL” stood for “Needs Love” – a far more compassionate way for us to manage their demands. It meant the server was prepared for hostility and had a plan on managing it without taking their ire personally. And more than that, it reframed our positioning from that of guarded defence, to that of genuine, warmhearted offense.

And I can’t think of a time it didn’t work.

Of course, knowing the guest was an NL meant they had visited before, perhaps plenty of times, and we had reams of other intel on the person: likes and dislikes, naturally, not just food, but table preference, server best suited to handle this person, how the guest liked to be acknowledged (or not), even his or her dining companions.

All NL’s got a fruit set on the side plate at their table before they arrived: a clementine, plum, apricot. To random diners, if they noticed at all, it just looked like sporadic decoration through out the dining room. To staff it was a flashing yellow light, reminding to proceed with caution. And to the NL, it was just a nice little thing (if they noticed at all.)

I’ve had lots of lessons in hospitality over my million years in the restaurant and wine industry, and, if I may be so bold, I think a lot of people confuse welcoming service with something that’s ceremonial and formal. Which is also why I think so many of us enjoy the idea of hosting, but actually doing it terrifying and stressful – and often expensive.

Hospitality, by definition, is “the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers.” It goes beyond business, though that’s what the word has come to mean.

At its most basic, hospitality is simply welcoming people to your home (or campsite or cottage or office) with attention and care. Whether ordering a pizza and eating it straight from the box, plunking a big ole’ pot of chilli on the table for people to help themselves, or setting out an eight-course dinner on the good china, you want people to feel welcome, comfortable, relaxed, and happy in your company.

(Unless you have older children; you don’t want to make them too comfortable or they never leave. But that’s a story for another newsletter.)

Hello!

Welcome to Quaintrelle, a twice weekly newsletter written by me, journalist-turned-sommelier-turned-entrepreneur, Erin Henderson.

Quaintrelle is all about embracing life’s pleasures in individual style, actively focusing on the things that bring joy. And Quaintrelles aren’t only women; we’re anyone who lives with passion, and stays true to our own unique tastes and personality.

Won’t you join us?

Clean Sweep

The trend to leaving the mess

To clean or not to clean? That truly is the question.

I’m someone who neurotically tidies up before leaving the house (what if something happens to me and CSI needs to come into my home and investigate? I seriously don’t need Gil Grisham’s judgement of my ability to manage basic household tasks.) I suppose you could call it the housekeeping version of the theory to leaving the house with clean undies.

I loved this article from the Globe and Mail last month. Apparently, people (especially women) are so fed up with cleaning for company, that therapists are now getting involved to sooth the frayed nerves of the harried hostess.

Leaving your mess out – loud and proud – is now a thing.

I’m not sure I could really feel comfortable letting my figurative freak flag fly in the face of my guests; and, TBH, I would also rather visit a home that’s had the dishes done before my arrival. It doesn’t have to be the white glove treatment, but I did once show up to a friend’s house, who (and I can’t tell you how much I wish I was kidding), had left her vibrator on the coffee table.

But maybe having a fresh bathroom, clean glassware, and dildo-free coffee table is now out of fashion?

What do you think? Will you throw in the towel or keep on polishing?

Le Quart D'Heure de Politesse

Right on Time

Just as I am someone obsessed with how CSI will judge the state of my abode, I am equally anxious about arriving late. When a traffic jam set me 10 minutes behind for a hair appointment, I sent my stylist minute-by-minute texts of breathless apology and updates to my ETA. He finally told me to calm down.

So, I am firmly some who arrives punctually. And by punctual, I mean five-10 minutes early.

Except when it comes to parties.

For gatherings at someone’s home, I take a cue from the French, and arrive 10 minutes late. In France, it’s considered impolite to arrive on time; it rushes the host who inevitably needs a few moments to pull herself together.

Thoughts?

Shoe In

Let’s discuss outdoor footware, indoors

Friends, do you remember last summer when I was aghast at someone keeping their shoes on in my house????

I realize that in both the US and the UK shoes indoors is perfectly acceptable, but in Erin’s World, shoes inside is a grievous, grievous offence.

So, if you feel as I do, take this as your annual reminder to stock up on disposable flips flops and slippers to gracefully get people out of their disgusting city-worn clodhoppers.

Flip flops

Slippers

Pineapple Strawberry Mimosa for a Crowd

A simple DIY bar is the perfect remedy for a busy host. It’s also is a perfect foil for guests wanting to stay alcohol free, and those looking for a double. No one needs to know what’s in, or not in, your glass.

Traditional mimosas – orange juice and bubbly – don’t really blow my skirt up. I suppose they could be fine in a pinch, but for the same amount of effort, you can elevate the standard mimosa to something that really sparkles.

I don’t like to pour sparkling wine into punch bowls of carafes, as it just falls flat too quickly, so instead I like to leave bottles of bubbly on ice, with pitchers of juice so guests can mix their own.

And for those not drinking, leave bottles of sparkling water and lemon soda so teetotallers can get in on the fun.

On the bar:

• Champagne flutes or coups

• A large bucket of ice for bottles of bubbly (prosecco or crèmant)

• A large bucket of ice for sparkling water and lemon soda

• Pitchers of pineapple mix (how many depends on the size of your crowd)

• A recipe card (you would think it’s self explanatory, but trust me, it’s not.)

• Pineapple spears

Pineapple Mimosa Recipe:

• 1½ cups pure pineapple juice

• 1½ cups strawberry juice (you can make this yourself by blending strawberries with a bit of water and touch of lemon juice, then straining for seeds)

1. Mix the juices in a pitcher and chill until needed.

2. When ready, pour into a champagne flute until about half full, topping with sparkling wine, water, or lemon soda.

Thank you for reading Quaintrelle!

I’ll be back on Wednesday with some insider tips to maximizing your enjoyment of wine. (It’s not nearly as tedious as it sounds, promise.)

And next weekend is the Canada Day long weekend. In years past, displeased Canadians meant nationalism wained, but this time around, I’m betting it will be a deeply patriotic affair. I’m working out the details on how exactly I’ll be celebrating Canada’s 158th birthday, but my hope is it involves sun, a pool, and a great cocktail.

Until then – Erin xo